supporting moms after giving birth to second
I still remember how overwhelmed I felt when I became a first time mom. But the transition to two was even harder. I was so overwhelmed by the emotional roller-coaster, sheer exhaustion of having to care for a newborn but on top of that a toddler who was also adjusting and needing my attention even more.
For my second birth I had a postpartum doula and help from family the first few weeks to help with the transition, which was very much needed. I can’t believe I thought we would be ok without any help! That said, I learned a lot about what was the most helpful when it came to supporting moms going through that transition from 1 to 2.
Here are some ideas, thoughts I had after my experience ( would love to hear yours!)
1/ Nourishing food.
One of the best ways to show a mom some love in her postpartum fatigue is to bring food or order food. I don’t know a mom who does not love a day off from cooking, especially with a newborn and a toddler. I still remember all the food gift we received after our second child was born. Some of my favorites were home made meals, cooked food delivery and breastfeeding snacks.
2/ Postpartum care gift basket.
This was one of the sweetest and thoughtful things a friend did for me. It felt like a little treat for me, when a lot of the times gifts are prepare for the new baby. The gift basket contained a reusable aromatherapy heating bag, button down pajamas (super useful when breastfeeding without it looking like breastfeeding clothes), some of my favorite snacks, hair scrunchies and a water bottle.
3/ Offer to watch the older kid(s)
Giving mama some time to catch up on sleep, spend time with the new baby or just the option to have to care for one less kid in the house is tremendously helpful. Offer time to come over and play with them or even take them out for a walk to the park etc. Bringing them a little treat or toy would also be a very lovely idea of helping them be noticed.
4/ Chip in for a postpartum doula
Postpartum doulas are trained professionals who specialize in caring for women and babies after birth. Postpartum doulas focus more on taking care of the mom’s recovery. My postpartum doula helped with a portion of the cooking, gave me massages, and helped with taking care of my own body. It definitely gave me more rest time in general and I recovered much faster than the first time.
5/ Continue to check in on her time to time
The first few weeks are the hardest with a newborn and it definitely takes time to adjust to a new schedule. On top of that the constant feedings, sleepless nights and barely any time for yourself. A lot of the time i felt very lonely and alone in this whole journey. The fourth trimester support is critical as each phase brings its challenges. Even for moms who have had kids before need the support and help as it is a new transition and a different kind of balance. I felt heard and supported even through just being able to text some of my mom friends. They were there for me the whole way, would check in on me every now and then - and I still remember it till this day.
What would you add to the list? Sending much love to the new and expecting mothers. xx
